build a habit of approaching people

by lou blake

Most people wait until they feel confident before approaching others, but confidence usually comes after repetition. and what worked for me was building a system that made approaching feel normal instead of something I had to debate about every day. When you commit your nervous system starts to give in and allow it

I stopped thinking about motivation but focused more on routine, meaning I chose specific days, specific times, and specific locations. and once those decisions were made ahead of time there was less room for excuses, after work was usually best because I could go straight to a busy area and spend thirty minutes walking around and talking to people.

Consistency matters more than anything else. some sessions feel smooth, others feel awkward, but both help because the habit stays alive and fear slowly fades.

things that helped me build the habit:

- planning the session the day before - choosing where i would park and walk - keeping sessions short and simple - tracking how often i showed up

Lowering expectations was important too, a short greeting counts, a quick question counts, even walking around and staying present counts. when the goal is small, it becomes easier to repeat, and repetition is what changes behavior and trains your nervous system over time.

Show up, repeat, move on.