cold approach for introverts

by lou blake

A lot of introverted people think approaching others is something reserved for naturally social personalities, and I used to believe that too, because talking to strangers never felt natural to me, but I found you don't need to become more outgoing right away. it was just building a simple routine and following it even when I did not feel like it.

The biggest shift was treating approaching people like something I could do any time. meaning I picked a time, picked a place, and showed up whether I felt confident or not, and after work worked best because I was already outside, already moving around, already near people, so there was less resistance compared to sitting at home trying to motivate myself to leave from there.

The early phase is uncomfortable, and there is no clean way around that, you walk around thinking you look strange, you notice nobody else is approaching anyone, you start questioning why you are even there. and sometimes you just circle the area and leave, that is pretty normal. I had many sessions where I barely spoke to anyone, but I still counted them because I showed up to the location.

here’s what i did:

- chose one busy location and stuck with it - stayed at least thirty minutes no matter what - said something simple to one person - left once the time was done

Lowering the bar removed most of the pressure, instead of trying to be interesting or impressive, I just focused on being present and saying something basic, and once the pressure drops, conversations happen more naturally, then over time the routine becomes normal, and what once felt difficult starts feeling ordinary. I just got used to immersing in the location which pays dividends later, since your nervous system is now used to being out there, and normalizing it.

basically, just keep going.