getting to the location is the hardest part

by lou blake

For many people the hardest part of approaching others is not the conversation, it is simply getting to the location and spending time there. because once you arrive you start feeling doubt, you question what you are doing, and you notice how different it feels from staying in your comfort zone and wondering why others are not doing it. Wondering why you are different. But you realize most others are living a pretty tame life, and usually sitting at home.

I experienced this every time I restarted after taking a break, the first few sessions felt heavy, like I was forcing myself to be somewhere I shouldn't be. and sometimes I would walk around feeling uncomfortable before even talking to anyone, that stage is part of the process and it passes with repetition.

what I did was lower the goal to something extremely simple, instead of focusing on results, I focused only on being present at the location for a set amount of time.

here’s what helped:

- telling myself i only needed to go to the location - walking around until the discomfort settled out. - accepting awkward feelings as normal - returning again the next day

Once you stay long enough, the environment starts to feel familiar, which reduces anxiety more than anything else, eventually the location starts to feel normal, and once that happens the conversations become easier without forcing them. after a few weeks or months you look back and notice huge amounts of progress

so just stay with it and have a long term mindset