lowering the bar when approaching people

by lou blake

Many people struggle with approaching others because their expectations are too high. they think they need to be interesting, confident, or socially smooth. guys feel like they have to be James Bond. The pressure creates hesitation before you even get in the interaction.

what you can try is lowering the standard so much that action became easy to repeat, instead of trying to have strong conversations; I focused on simple steps like saying hello, asking a basic question, or making a quick comment and moving on if I felt like it. When you go out more you put less weight on each interaction. Since you know more volume is coming later. You don't beat yourself up over.

some more tips:

- i stopped trying to be perfect - i allowed short interactions - i accepted awkward moments - i counted effort as a success and even just showing up

When the goal becomes small, you can repeat, and repetition is what slowly removes fear and builds comfort. then you stay more relaxed, and relaxed interactions often lead to better conversations because there is no pressure behind them.

lower the bar and get to the location and just start